Surviving the Storm
by Melissa Brooks
Summary: John helps Marty get through the grief of losing Cole. Will John stay by Marty's side when he finds out what she is keeping from him?
1. Chapter 1

Surviving the Storm

AN: This Drabble series takes place around the time that Cole went undercover to take down the drug suppliers. Cole was killed while he was in jail by the dirty cop on Mayor Lowell's orders.

A: Apologize

John knocked on Marty's door wishing that he didn't have to be there. He wished that he had gotten to Cole in time. How was he going to tell the woman that he loved that her son was dead because of him? He hated delivering news like this, but Marty deserved to hear the truth from him.

"John, I'm so glad to see you. I was just going to call you and see if you wanted to have dinner with me."

"Marty, we need to talk."

"What's wrong John?"

"I'm sorry, there's no easy way to say this, but something happened to Cole tonight."

"What happened?"

"Cole was shot tonight."

"Is he in the hospital? Where is he?" Marty asked.

"I'm sorry, Marty. He was already dead by the time that I got there."

"You bastard... You promised me that you would keep him safe," Marty said as she hit John in the chest over and over again until she collapsed in his arms.

John held her in his arms as she cried. He apologized over and over again, but he knew that an apology would never be enough. Cole was dead because he hadn't gotten to him in time. How could he expect Marty to ever forgive him when he couldn't forgive himself?


	2. Chapter 2

B: Burial

John stood in the back trying to decide if he should go to her. He knew that today was probably the hardest day of Marty's life and he didn't want to make things any worse for her. No parent should ever outlive their child...but she had. Cole was dead and John knew that it was all his fault.

He had debated for hours whether he should just stay home, but in the end he went. He had to say goodbye to the boy who was like a son to him.

Marty cried as they lowered his body into the ground and John steeped forward and grabbed her hand. Marty pulled her hand away and glared at him. He knew that she was still angry with him, but he would not let her push him away. He knew that she needed him so he grabbed her hand again. Once again she pulled her hand away and once again he grabbed it and gave her hand a little squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere so stop pushing me away. I loved him too," John whispered. This time Marty squeezed his hand back.


	3. Chapter 3

C: Comfort

After the funeral John drove Marty home. "Will you let me take care of you tonight? I could make you dinner."

"Okay," Marty stated as she opened the door. She was exhausted and she didn't have the energy to be angry with John. The truth was that she needed the comfort that only he could provide.

She went and laid down while he made steak and potatoes. "Marty, dinner's ready," he stated as he walked into the bedroom. They talked about their memories of Cole while they ate.

After dinner they watched a movie and Marty fell asleep. He carried her into the bedroom and put her in bed. "Don't go," Marty stated as he headed out the door.

"I'm not going anywhere...not as long as you need me. He climbed into bed beside her and wrapped her in his arms. "I promise that you'll get through this pain," he said as he kissed her forehead. She fell back asleep in the comfort of his arms.


	4. Chapter 4

Drinking

John frowned as he saw Marty walking into Rodi's. It had been a week since they had buried Cole. At first he thought that he was helping her through the pain, but then she retreated inside herself, so deep that he couldn't find her. She never wanted to talk about Cole...all she wanted to do was drink. "Marty, what are you doing?" John asked.

"I would like a bottle of Vodka and a shot glass please."

"Drinking won't help anything. It's not going to bring Cole back...it's not going to make you feel better. Cole wouldn't want you to self destruct over him."

"Don't you talk to me about my son and what he would have wanted. He's not here anymore and I'm dealing with it the only way I know how. I didn't come here to be lectured. I came here for a drink. Are you going to serve me or not?"

"I'm not going to help you hurt yourself."

"Fine...I'll take my business elsewhere."

"Marty, I want to help you. Let me take you somewhere and we can talk."

"Go find some other damsel in distress to save. I don't want or need your help," Marty stated as she walked out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

E: Empty

Marty stood on the ledge of the Palace Hotel. It hadn't been that long since she had talked Todd into jumping from the roof into the icy rivers below. Now she wondered if she should have been the one to jump. If she jumped tonight would she feel anything but the empty space around her?

She had been empty for so long...before Patrick and Cole had come into her life she had looked for something, anything to fill the emptiness that she felt. When she met Patrick she didn't think that she would ever feel empty again. When Patrick died Cole had filled that empty space inside her heart...but now there was nobody to take it away. She was empty once again.

"Don't jump," John stated. He had come to the roof because he had needed a quiet place to think about how he could reach Marty. She was all that he had and if she jumped he would be nothing, but the empty shell of a man that he used to be before she came into his life.


	6. Chapter 6

F: Fall

"Don't jump," John stated again when Marty hadn't come down from the ledge.

"Go away John...I have nothing left," Marty stated.

"That's not true...you have me. I...I love you Marty and I need you."

"That's not true, you're just trying to save me from falling."

"Maybe I need you to save me. Without you I was just going through the motions. You taught me how to feel again," John said as he stepped closer to Marty. "You taught me what it was to fall in love so I'm not going to let you fall off the edge. I'm going to be here to catch you," John stated as he took Marty in his arms and took her away from the ledge.


	7. Chapter 7

G: Gun

Marty thought that she finally had a handle on her grief. John had been amazing and he had been there for her no matter how badly she treated him.

It had been a month since Cole died and today her grief hit her all over again. She woke up to the news that the former Mayor Lowell had been released from Statesville due to insufficient evidence.

There was no justice in this world. She had seen that with Todd, but watching her son's killer get set free was somehow worse for her. Her son wouldn't be able to rest in piece until after the bastard who was behind his death paid.

John was still asleep so she borrowed his gun and headed out to find justice for herself.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx

John woke up and Marty was gone. The tv was still on in the living room so he climbed out of bed to shut it off when he saw that Lowell had been released.

John realized that his gun was missing...he had to find Marty...this would be enough to destroy all the progress that they had made. He placed a tracker on her cell phone and then he drove straight to her location...Lowell's house.

When he got there he saw Lowell and Marty wrestling over the gun. He tried to stop them before anybody got hurt when the gun went off.


	8. Chapter 8

H: Hospitalized

John froze as the gun went off and he saw Marty lying on the floor bleeding. He called for an ambulance as he took of his shirt. He used his shirt and pressed into Marty's stomach to try and stop the bleeding.

"Stay with me Marty," he stated. He had already lost Cole...he couldn't lose Marty too. The ambulance showed up and took her to the hospital.

Once they got her to the hospital she was taken in for Emergency Surgery and John was left standing in the waiting room covered in her blood.


	9. Chapter 9

I: Intensive Care Unit

It had been a long night and John had never felt so petrified. He sat in the intensive care unit watching her...waiting for the anesthesia to wear off.

"I love you Marty...please come back to me. I was planning this big surprise for you on Valentine's Day, but if you open your eyes I'll give it to you now," John stated as he squeezed her hand.

She squeezed his hand back and fluttered her eyelids open.

"Marty, how are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot. Did I hear something about a surprise?"

"Marty Saybrooke, will you marry me?" John asked as he got down on one knee and held the ring out for her.


	10. Chapter 10

J: Jaded Justice

"Will you marry me?" John asked as he got down on one knee.

Marty looked at John as her eyes filled with tears. She wished she could say yes...that she could make plans for a future, but she couldn't. She had become jaded and knew that she had just traded in any future that she could have had with John for justice. "I can't marry you not when I don't have a future. I tried to shoot Lowell and ended up shooting myself in the process. Lowell's going to want to press charges."

"What if he doesn't? What if I can make the charges go away? Will you marry me then?"

"It's not going to work John. Girls like me don't get happily ever after no matter how much we may want it. I'm tired...will you just go?" Marty said as her voice broke.

"I'll go, but this conversation isn't over. I'm going to prove that you can have a future with me," John stated as he left her room.


	11. Chapter 11

K: Killer

John drove to Ramsey's house...he had to convince him not to press charges against Marty. His instincts told him that something wasn't quite right.

When he walked into the living room he saw Todd pointing a gun to Ramsey's head. "What's going on here?" John asked.

"Ramsey needs to pay for what he did to Cole, Starr, Hope and most of all Marty," Todd stated.

"You can't let him kill me Mcbain. Arrest him," Lowell shouted.

"Come on Mcbain...help me give Marty the justice she deserves. I'll make it look like a robbery gone bad," Todd stated.

"I can't stand by and watch you kill Lowell."

"Why haven't you called for backup or arrested Manning yet?" Lowell stated.

"You didn't let me finish. I'm not going to stand by and watch Manning kill you, but that doesn't mean that I have to save you. Sometimes being a good cop is knowing when to walk away," John stated as he left.

He climbed into his car and drove to the hospital to spend time with Marty... leaving Todd to take care of Lowell and make sure that justice was served.


	12. Chapter 12

F: Friends

Marty sighed, she knew exactly what Natalie was going through. When she had found out that Natalie had been pregnant with John's baby she felt anger, jealousy, resentment and those feelings ate away at her, almost destroying everything good that was in her. She had a breakdown because she couldn't cope with Megan's death and John's affair with Natalie. Natalie had hurt her but she didn't deserve this pain. "Come on in," Marty said as she opened the door.

Natalie walked into Marty's house and sat down on the couch, "I don't know why I'm even here, it's not like we're friends or anything. I just got in my car and drove. I don't even know how long I've been sitting in your driveway. How did you do it?"

"Do what?" Marty asked as she sat down next to Natalie.

"Get over loving John."

"I didn't, not for a long time, but the doctor's in ST. Anne's made me face some hard truth's about my relationship with John. "

"Like what?"

"I realized that John was never going to be able to give me what I wanted. I've always wanted a family but John just isn't able to fully commit himself to anybody. He never loved me like I loved him. Sure he cared about me, but he never really loved me or he wouldn't have slept with you when I was expecting his baby. It took me a long time to realize that I deserve better than what John can provide. I deserve somebody that's going to love me with their whole heart and soul. I'm sorry that you're hurting over Kelly's pregnancy and you honestly deserve better than what John has to offer you as well."

"Why are you being so nice to me? You must hate me after everything I cost you."

"I don't hate you, I never did, I was just jealous and who knows, maybe now that John's out of the picture we could find a way to being friends,"Marty said.

"I would like that, thanks for talking to me. I feel strangely better. I better get going. I have to put Liam in bed soon," Natalie said as she stood up and headed towards the door.

"Hey Natalie, if you ever want to talk again. You know where to find me. I don't know how much help I'll be, but I'll listen."

"Thanks Marty, for everything," Natalie said as she left.


	13. Chapter 13

M: Married

John stood at the alter waiting for her to appear. It had taken him a long time to get her to say yes and they would soon be married. It was supposed to be a small wedding, but the entire town of Llanview had shown up.

He smiled at Nora as she walked down the aisle and then he saw her. Marty had never looked more beautiful as she walked towards him.

John took Marty's hands in hers and promised to be faithful in good times and in bad. He had always had trouble being faithful and commitment scared him, but it had always been different with her. She had changed him for the better and now he lived to make her happy.

After they exchanged their rings and vows Reverend Carpenter asked if anybody had any objections. John looked at Todd who stood in the back to see if he would object. Todd had made it well known that he was not happy about the wedding and even threatened to kill him if he ever made her unhappy. Todd scowled at John, but didn't say anything.

John kissed Marty as Andrew pronounced them officially married.


	14. Chapter 14

N: Nauseous

John cooked Marty some Saltine Crackers and soup. She had been nauseous for a couple of weeks now and he was beginning to worry about her.

He found her hunched over the toilet. He rubbed her back and helped her to get up. "I made you some soup,"John stated as he helped her climb into bed.

"Thanks John," Marty stated. She looked at the bowl of soup and sighed. She was so exhausted and the task of eating seemed so daunting. "I really appreciate it, but I'm just too tired," Marty stated.

"Come on Marty...you need to eat to keep up your strength. I'll help you and then we'll take a nap together."

John fed Marty and when the bowl was empty he helped her to lie down. He grabbed a cold, damp washcloth and placed it over her burning forehead. He climbed in bed beside her and watched her sleep. He was scared that something would happen to her if he closed his eyes so he watched her, hoping that the fever would break soon.


	15. Chapter 15

O: Omission

Marty sat in Dr Kyle Lewis's office trying to comprehend all the bad news that was being delivered.

"I'm sorry Marty, do you want me to call John?"

"No, I don't want John to know."

"Marty, you're going to need his support during chemotherapy."

"I'm not going to have chemotherapy until the baby is born."

"It's your decision but as your doctor I need to make sure that you understand the consequences of delaying treatment. If you wait until the baby is born your cancer will have spread everywhere and you will most likely die."

"Well, can you guarantee that if I terminate this pregnancy I'll survive?" Marty asked.

"Nobody can promise that."

"That's what I thought. After losing Cole...I'm not going to lose another child...especially not for something that will most likely kill me anyways," Marty stated as she walked out of the office.

XOXOXO

"Where were you?" John asked as soon as she walked into their apartment.

"I made a doctor's appointment."

"I wish you would have told me. I would of gone with you."

"It's okay...I know why I've been so sick. I'm pregnant."

"You're pregnant? We're going to have a baby? I'm so happy," John stated as he grabbed Marty and spun her around.

"I'm happy too," Marty stated. John was so happy...there was no reason to tell him that she had cancer as well.


	16. Chapter 16

P: Pain and Pressure

The doctors had warned Marty that she would experience an increasing amount of pain as the cancer continued to spread, but there was no warning that could have prepared her for the pain that she was now experiencing.

She refused to take a lot of the prescribed pain medications available because of the risk to the baby and the ones that she was taking never seemed to be enough. The pressure of keeping a smile on her face so that John wouldn't know the terrible secret that she was keeping was beginning to break her down.

"What's wrong?"John asked as he found Marty wincing in pain.

"Nothing, it's just morning sickness. I think that I'm going to take a walk, maybe the fresh air will help," Marty stated as she climbed out of bed and threw her sweater on.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No...that's okay," Marty stated. She needed to be alone...so that she could deal with her pain in her own way.

She sat on the pier crying as she tried to will her mind to think of something else besides the pain when Todd showed up.

"You look like hell," Todd stated as he sat by her side.

"Thanks Todd...you have such a way with words like always."

"No...I mean it. Are you sick? I can take you to the hospital if you need."

"I'm fine...actually I'm pregnant and I guess that I haven't quite figured out how to master the morning sickness."

"You're pregnant? Are you happy about it?" Todd asked.

"Of course I'm happy about it...what kind of question is that?"

"If you're so happy then why have you been crying?"

"Pregnancy hormones, everything makes me cry these days."

"I don't buy it...something else is causing you pain."

"Just leave me alone Todd. I'm not in the mood to play twenty questions with you."

"Fine, I'll go...but I am going to figure out what you're hiding," Todd stated as he walked away.


	17. Chapter 17

Q: Quiet

Marty was taking a bath to try and sooth her aching muscles and the migraine from hell when she heard somebody pounding on her front door.

"Marty...open up. I know you're home. If you don't open up...I'm going to kick this door in," Todd shouted.

John was at work so Marty had no choice but to get out of the tub so that she could deal with Todd's latest temper tantrum. Marty wrapped her bathrobe around her and opened the front door. "What do you want?"

"Is it true?" Todd asked.

"Is what true?"

"This," he stated as he held up her medical file.

"Where did you get that? That's my private medical files, you have no right to them," Marty stated as she tried to hit Todd, but she was too weak and tired to hit him without falling.

Todd caught her in his arms, " It's true...you have cancer. Why isn't John here taking care of you?"

"He doesn't know and you have to keep quiet about what you know."

"Why haven't you told him Marty? You can't do this on your own."

"John would want me to terminate the pregnancy so that I could have chemotherapy. I won't do that and I won't spend my last couple of month's fighting with him."

"Well maybe you should have an abortion if it means saving your life."

"Don't start with me Todd."

"If you're not going to tell him then I will. He needs to know."

"You owe me Todd. If you don't keep quiet, I'm never going to forgive you," Marty stated.

"What's going on?" John asked as he walked in the front door.

"Todd was just leaving," Marty stated.

"Congratulations about the baby, John. You should stay home and take care of Marty, no matter what she says. She takes on to much and she needs her rest. Take care Marty...this conversation isn't over," Todd stated as he left the house.

"What was that all about?" John asked.

"Todd was just being Todd," Marty stated as she hugged John feeling grateful that Todd had kept quiet.


	18. Chapter 18

R: Rose

Marty woke up to the smell of Roses. She opened her eyes and found four dozen roses displayed in various vases around the room.

"Good Morning beautiful," John stated as he kissed her.

"What's all this?" Marty asked as she sat up in bed.

"I know that I've been spending a lot of time at work and I just wanted to let you know that you still come first in my life. I'm sorry that I haven't been taking care of you the way that I should, but that's all going to change. I took today off and I am going to spoil you," John stated as he kissed Marty.

"I love you John," Marty stated as she began to unbutton his shirt.

She grazed his muscles as she finished removing  
his shirt. "Make love to me John."

John removed his pants and joined Marty in bed. They became tangled into each other's arms as he pushed himself so deep inside of her.

Marty couldn't help but cry as she realized that this might be the last time that she would have enough energy to make love to John.

"What's wrong?" John asked as he saw her tears. "I'm not hurting you am I?" John asked as he paused his thrusting motions.

"You're not hurting me...I just love you so much."

"I love you too Marty," John stated as he began to thrust into her hard and fast until they had both reached their climaxes

Afterwards Marty snuggled up against John. She wished that they could make love to each other all night long, but she was completely spent. John held onto her as she fell asleep. He didn't know why, but lately he had been hit with a fear that he was losing her.


	19. Chapter 19

S: Surrogate

Todd waited for John to leave and then he pounded on Marty's door.

"Go away Todd," Marty stated as she opened the door and saw him standing there.

"I can't do that Marty. You haven't returned any of my phone calls so you've really left me no choice. You need to have radiation before your cancer spreads any more."

"I can't do that. The radiation will poison the baby and I'm not going to have an abortion."

"What if I said that you wouldn't have to?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What if we transferred this baby to some other woman's uterus, then you could still have radiation treatment without risking the life of your child. "

"You want me to have a surrogate for my child?"Marty asked.

"Why not? I've already asked Blair and Tea and they are both willing to be your surrogates for your baby while you get treatment."

"I don't know if I can just hand over this child to Blair or Tea. I'll have to think about it," Marty stated.

"Please Marty...it's the best option for everyone. You can't die...we all need you in our lives, most of all your child will need you because we all know what a hateful, vengeful bastard I can be. If anything happens to you then there will be nobody around to stop me from getting revenge on the child you sacrificed your life for."

"You wouldn't dare?"

"The only way you can stop me Marty is to be around," Todd stated as he left slamming the door behind him.

Marty placed the hand around her stomach. She had to do everything she could to protect her child even if it meant that she had to let Blair or Tea carry the child to term.


	20. Chapter 20

T: Truth

"John, there's something that we need to talk about," Marty stated as soon as John walked in the front door.

"What's wrong Marty? Is it the baby?" John asked as he sat by Marty's side.

"John, I haven't been honest with you and you deserve to know the truth about what's been going on with me," Marty stated.

"What's been going on with you?" John asked.

"I'm sick...I found out that I have cancer the same day that I found out that I was pregnant."

"Why didn't you tell me? You shouldn't have had to go through this all alone."

"I was afraid and desparate. I knew that you would want me to take radiation therapy and I didn't want too because it would hurt our child," Marty stated.

"Oh my god...the baby...I love this child, Marty, you know that I do, but I can't lose you. I want you to get treatment even if we have to terminate the pregnancy."

"I'm not going to do that, but Todd's thought of another option so that we don't have to."

"You told Todd about the cancer, but not me?" John questioned as feelings of jealousy began to hit him. He should have been the one to be there for Marty, instead it was her rapist Todd Manning.

"I didn't tell Todd anything. He stole my medical files," Marty explained.

"So what was Todd's brillant idea?" John asked.

"I'm going to have Tea or Blair be a surrogate for the remainder of the pregnancy while I get treatment. They both agreed to help."

"Tea works really long hours defending dangerous criminals, so I would prefer it if Blair was the surrogate," John stated.

"Then Blair it is...I'll call Blair and arrange everything," Marty stated.

"Just wait on that for a couple of minutes...right now I just want to hold you in my arms," John stated as he pulled Marty into a tight hug. She had to survive this...he couldn't imagine his life without her by his side.


	21. Chapter 21

U: Uterus

"Thanks for agreeing to carry my child for me," Marty said as they wheeled Blair in on a gurney.

"You're welcome Marty. I know that we've had our differences, but I would like to think that you would do the same thing in my position," Blair stated.

Todd and John walked in the room with Kyle Lewis. John held Marty's hand as Kyle extracted the embryo from Marty's uterus. She felt a quick pinch and then she felt empty. The empty feeling was the hardest part, because she already loved the little life that had been growing inside of her.

She cried as Kyle inserted her child into Blair's womb. "Our babies going to survive this," John stated.

"Don't worry Marty...you're child's a survivor just like you," Todd encouraged.

Todd and John both made sense, but Marty wouldn't feel better until she heard her baby's heartbeat.

Kyle performed an ultrasound and Marty cried tears of relief when she heard the tiny heartbeat and she knew that her child with John was safe.


	22. Chapter 22

V: Victory

It had been four months of complete and utter hell as Marty underwent chemotherapy treatments. John shaved her head and then shaved his as well so that she wouldn't have to watch her hair fall out.

John squeezed Marty's hand while Doctor Kyle Lewis looked over the latest test results, as he prayed for a victory. "Is the cancer gone?" he asked when Doctor Lewis looked at them and genuinely smiled.

"I hope that you'll invite Fish and I to the celebration because you are cancer free Marty," Kyle stated as he hugged her and John.

"Thank god," John whispered. All of the hell had been worth it, they had gotten their victory.


	23. Chapter 23

W: Waiting

The last month of Blair's pregnancy seemed to take forever. Now that she was cancer free she looked forward to meeting her son. Then the phone call had come and the wait was over... Blair was in labor. Marty and John held Blair's hands as they coached her to breathe. She pushed with everything that she had in her and then she heard his sweet little voice.

"He's beautiful," Marty gasped as she held him in her arms. " Hey there little man, do you want to meet your namesake and godmother?" Marty asked as she placed the baby in Blair's arms.

" You're naming him after me?" Blair asked.

"Of course, I couldn't think of a more appropriate name then Blair Thomas since you and Todd are a big part of why he and I are still here."

"You've waited a long time for your son, I'm just glad that I could help," Blair stated as she squeezed Marty's hand.


	24. Chapter 24

X: Xylophone

John couldn't help but smile as his little boy tried to play his Xylophone while Marty was playing the piano. He was such a mamma's boy, always following her around and trying to imitate her.

He couldn't believe that his son would be turning one soon. The past year had passed by so fast and he would give anything to slow life down just a little bit.

"Hey there little man, daddy wants to play too," John stated as he crouched down on the floor and tried to play the Xylophone.

The little boy ran into his father's arms and hugged him tightly and then he showed him how to play.


	25. Chapter 25

Y: Year

It had been one year since little Blair Thomas had been born and today they were celebrating his birthday.

"Hey birthday boy," Todd called as he walked out into the backyard and held his hands out for the little boy.

"Todd," Blair exclaimed excitedly as he went into his Godfather's arms.

"I still can't believe that his first word was Todd," John stated as he shook his head.

"I can...I spoil him rotten...speaking of which, his pony should have been here by now," Todd stated as he looked around.

"I can't believe you bought him a pony. Where are we going to keep a pony?" Marty asked.

"In my stables at La Boulaie," Blair stated as she turned the corner.

"Hey Blair, can you believe it's been a year since you gave us our baby," Marty stated as she hugged her friend.

"No...he's growing up so fast and I'm not ready for it."

"Me either," Marty stated.

John brought the birthday cake out and they all sang to the little boy and watched him blow out his one year candle.


	26. Chapter 26

Z: Zipper

After Marty put little Blair down to sleep for the night she walked into the bedroom to find John waiting in bed for her.

"Do you know how absolutely beautiful you are?" John asked as he stood up and walked towards Marty. "I've been wanting to get you alone all night," he whispered seductively in her ear as he pulled down the zipper on the back of her dress.

Once he was finished with the zipper the dress fell to the floor and he wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her into a passionate kiss. He continued to kiss her as he guided her towards the bed.

"Do you want to make a little brother or sister for Blair?" John asked.

"Nothing would make me happier," Marty stated as she kissed him. John laid himself over her and made love to her all night long.

Nine months later she gave birth to their little girl Samantha Mcbain.

The End


End file.
